The Batman Theory

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I have this wild theory that Batman can solve any problem.  Sometimes he needs just the right gadget but sometimes it's just a matter of looking cool and doing a high kick to knock the problem on it's rear.

That being said, I freaking hate modern bras.  Ok, I get you.  "How does batman tie into bras?" How does it NOT?  A woman's most used gadget is her bra.

Every morning it's on, every night it's off.  Unless you are one of those that let the girls fly solo.  In that case, yes, we've seen you in those People of... pages. 

Our nearest Victoria's Secret is 45 miles away but that 45 miles takes over an hour to get to.  $45 in gas to get a $45 bra.  Then you walk in and casually ask the size 2 associate if you can get a sexy bra that doesn't scream "mom bra" only to get the "pft, whateva" look.  Then the drive home you feel unfulfilled in wasting hours of your day, guilty for spending nearly $100 on a bra you know you won't wear every day because it's cute but either pokes holes into your ribcage or you can only wear occasionally when you WANT a wardrobe malfunction. 

Inevitably we end up in Walmart, Kmart or Target and spend an hour looking for one that doesn't push your boobs up to your throat area, moderately supportive, an underwire that won't turn porcupine in a week's time,  attractive enough to wear every day and cute enough to want to show off at night. (wink)  Nope.  Most of them scream "Teenager's will wear me" or "I'm a beige bra for your grandma, fatty, not a miracle worker".

It's that or JC Pennys/Sears where you feel like you're spending too much to, again, not get something you want.  You could turn to the internet but you don't know if you buy it that it would fit.  Do you really want to return a bra after one use?  ugh.  I know there has to be a better solution out there.  I've sure not found it.  Winter is obviously not the time to look for one.  I guess I fall in the pretty Moderate range.  Once you have kids, yeah they're bigger but they don't just snap back into place like elastic.

I'm in the in between range on clothing of all kinds.  I can't really shop in the plus sizes because everything slides off of me but I can't shop in the regular women's department either.  An example, sure.  I need jeans.  Seriously, I buy kids clothes and stuff for the hubbster but for me...I have maybe two pairs of pants.  Yeah.  I go try some on.  Size 8, I fall on my face an have to nearly cut the jeans off me.  Size 10 is ok but far too tight in the thighs, comfy on the rear but the waist hangs.  Size 12 fits great but I need a belt to wrap around me a couple of times.  I think I need to figure out how to design a Moderately Moderate Collection for folks like me that want to look nice for a fairly affordable price, have undergarments that match and don't look like the cartoon drawing of the big mama looking for her missing kitty and a gadget bra that lifts, tucks, comforts and brings on the sexeh that you're looking for.  Batman would have just the gadget.  Oh yes, he would.  If not, Alfred would.  I'm pretty sure under that tuxedo and quiet British demeanor he's a wildcat like Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

If you have ideas or thoughts...comment dearies :)